I ASKED my boyfriend FOR OPEN RELATIONSHIP

I ASKED my boyfriend FOR OPEN RELATIONSHIP

Hi! I’m Jennifer and if you are thinking about opening up your relationship, I’d recommend you give it a second thought.
I met Robert almost 4 years ago in our campus parking lot. I had a flat tire and he was the first one to rush in and help me. He was cute and friendly and I felt thankful, so I invited him for a cup of coffee to show my appreciation. Well, that was after I lend him a towel, his hands were too dirty for coffee.
We spend about 3 hours in the coffee shop and the conversation was one of the best ones I’ve ever had. He was so funny and quirky and I felt like he really listen. We reschedule for more coffee and after a couple of casual months, if you know what I mean, we decided to be exclusive. Rob and I became a real couple and it was awesome!
For about a year and a half. I guess that’s what people call the Honeymoon Phase, where everything still feels fresh and exciting, you’re constantly learning new things about each other and having first experiences together. But there comes a point when suddenly that excitement starts fading and you become used to the relationship. We had done almost everything together already.
I knew pretty much everything about Robert by that time. I knew how much he liked foreign movies, spoke German and couldn’t help to seem flirty with other girls even if he had no intention of flirting. I knew how hard he studies to be a journalist, while at the same time he enrolled in cuisine courses. I knew all of these already and I thought I was bored.
And boredom leads to questioning your feelings. I started thinking and fantasizing about other guys. No one specific, just random guys. In my mind, strangers were still perfect. This is a lie, obviously, but it felt like and irresistible lie.
I pretended everything was alright for awhile, but soon enough Rob noticed. I came clear to him. I told him I didn’t want to cheat on him nor did I want to break up, I loved him. So I ask for a Hall Pass, like in that movie with Owen Wilson, with an extra week. He seemed sad, but still accepted it.
I wanted to feel again those exciting days of discovering a new person, so I went out with a couple of guys during that period. I end hooking up with only one of them and it was bloody awful. Not that it wasn’t fun. It was, yet I felt horrible the day after. Not guilty because it was previously discussed, so I didn’t feel as if I cheated. I simply felt empty.
A couple of days later, I ran to Robert and cried out, telling him how sorry I was and that I didn’t want to meet new people anymore. He was very confused. “You can’t ask me for a break and then come back to me crying after less than a week”. He was right.
Rob asked me for some time to clear his head, now he was doubting about the future of our relationship. It was hard and time felt like an eternity. Still, I had to respect his decision.
He eventually came through and wanted to try again. I have never felt so much relief in my life. We are now two years in after our break and I’m happy. We don’t have a perfect relationship and I don’t see Robert as my perfect partner. I see him as a human being. His flaws make him who he is and I love them for it.
You see, love doesn’t fade after the Honeymoon Phase. It transforms into something else, less exciting, but deeper. It’s okay to have fun and mess around with exciting, new people. But I wouldn’t trade my deepest connection for it…