How to Master Small Talk and Control the Conversation

How to Master Small Talk and Control the Conversation — How to Master Small Talk and Control the Conversation

Hey YouTube, how’s it going? Some of you might be familiar with me, but if you’re not, I’m Kate Spring and I’m a dating and relationship coach from the west coast of Canada. And in this video, I want to help your dating game in the conversation department, more specifically, I want to help you to master small talk and explain some ways that you can learn how to control the conversation.

Just before we get started, remember that if you have any questions please leave them in the comments section below and I’ll be sure to get back to you, personally, as soon as I can.

There is something so sexy about a man who can dominate a conversation and can elevate it from ordinary to extraordinary in a matter of words. Typical small talk looks something like this, “How are you?” “What do you do for work?” “Where are you from?”

Sadly, women and men are too familiar with this boring line of questioning when they meet. The job interview type questions. This kind of mind dulling small talk comes from a place of nervousness. And when you’re nervous in front of a hot woman, your brain turns to mush, and your mouth starts spewing what you’ve been conditioned to understand as appropriate get-to-know-you-banter.

The problem here is that it doesn’t excite a woman to get to know where you work either. However, there is an elevated version of small talk that you can master in order to get to know women quicker and in a more exciting way by just changing what you ask her.

Thankfully, there are steps that you can take to improve your small talk game and, subsequently, can take charge of the conversation.

The first step is to approach the right woman. Don’t go up to the woman that has a resting bitch face and her arms crossed. That woman’s body language is either saying, “I have a boyfriend,” or “I’m not interested.” Look for the girl in a group of people that is smiling, seems appriachable, has an open body posture and is looking around the room. That is someone whose attention you can capture.

I know, I know, small talk is a pain in the ass. Some people despise it and avoid it at all costs, but the good news is that the better you are at it, the easier it becomes, and the more powerful personality you will have. It’s not only a key skill to master for dating, but it is also a skill worth having to be successful in all interpersonal relationships.

Along with small talk is learning how to build attraction, and for more information on that, head over to and get a copy of my attraction building handbook for free! There you will learn how to build attraction through texting and through body language, this will also help you in conversations. That’s and I’ve posted a link in the description below.

Alright, when you first approach a woman, do you think to yourself, “Wow, I wonder where that girl is from…” Or, “Wow, I wonder what that woman does for work…” The chances are that you approached her because something about her physically is attractive to you and you’d like to start a conversation that makes her interested in getting to know you even better.

The answers to the job interview questions don’t really matter when you first meet her. You can find out her middle name and her childhood dog’s name later on. But for now, when you first meet her, focus on getting to know her personality and what excites her. And having a conversation that will make her interested in talking to you again in the future.

You know that person who says, “I hate small talk”; they are on the losing team. And they only dislike it because they are the worst perpetrators of mind-numbing small talk—not the people like you and I who engage in titillating small talk.

Now for some conversation starter examples. Your goal in mastering small talk is to first get any girl’s attention and keep it on you. That way you gain control of the conversation and, subsequently, the situation. This is the best formula to get the results that you want. And it’s an entertaining way to get to know someone.

Here are some example questions to ask a woman you just met. It’s safe to start off with asking her name and once you get through some of the niceties of chatting up women, you can start to ask her some more interesting question, here are a couple of examples that will spice up any converation.

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